Sometimes we accidentally hurt our friends or worse, we might argue or fight with them.
It brings up feelings where we don't feel good. We may
become angry or sad.
It helps to remember we aren't all the same, we don't always
feel or think the same as others. And that's ok. We can be different and still
be friends.
People are most happy when they feel valued and that they
belong.
So, if we accidentally bump our friend - maybe even knock them
down we can show them we care. Many people say "sorry" and that
is a good place to start but it isn't the end. We need to back up those words
to show we really mean them. So, the next step that can help repair our bond
would be to ask "How can I help you feel better? What can I
do?"
This shows our friends we are willing to put forth more
effort - that we really see and hear their pain and are willing to listen and
respond. This makes our friendship stronger!
So even if you start to argue and someone's feelings get
hurt. You can stop, take a breath, say "I'm sorry we are fighting.” and
ask "What can we do to make this better?"
And then we listen and try to understand their viewpoint. We
can explain our own viewpoint as well "I feel ___ when you do ___."
We can engage everyone in finding a peaceful solution.
Because we don't have to figure out everything alone - we can involve our
friends and the adults around us.
We can discuss what we think is fair. There might be a
creative solution that makes everyone happy or at least ok.
Such a simple thing to say that can help us repair the bond
of friendship!
Say it with me!
"I'm sorry. What can I do to help you feel
better."
Marla Nargundkar,
AMI Montessori Guide at Tree of Life Montessori School of Atlanta,
Georgia USA
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